Right Now
by LonelyButLovely
Summary: Kūkai wants her back but he's left with only memories and regrets.


Well, it's been a while. I was inspired by 'Right Now' (originally sung by AKON and covered really well by Asking Alexandria) to write one more KukAmu fic! Gosh, I still adore and ship this couple to bits! I hope you enjoy this oneshot!

~_lonelybutlovely_

* * *

It's been too long. Too long since I've seen her face. Her molten gold eyes that would shine for me, her small smile that always made my heart speed up. The way she would giggle and tilt her head back. Her long pink hair that would tickle his neck when he held her close. Her smell, the sound of her voice...he missed all of it.

I want it back. I want it all back, I want her in my arms right now. I don't know how much longer I can go on without her. I'm trying so hard because I promised her I would. I want to hold her to my chest again and never let her go, I wanted to tease her and hear her laughter. It was hard being without her.

"Amu..." I murmured clenching the cell phone in my hand. I never deleted our picture together and kept it as my wallpaper. I missed her so much.

I knew I shouldn't have gone out that late, I know I shouldn't have been with that girl. But I truly belonged to Amu. My heart and my soul, it was pointless to go on without her. But I was just so mad. She went out to hang out with Ikuto again. I knew that they were friends but I couldn't help but get angry because...well, I'm a guy and guys get jealous. I got drunk and did a few crazy things. Well, more than a few but I just didn't care then.

I didn't even _pause_ to think about the consequences.

* * *

"Who was that girl?" she asked quietly.

"Eh..? Wha girl?" he feigned innocence.

"The one that left moments before I came home," she narrowed her eyes.

"A lady friend," was all he said. "Welcome back by - "

"Kukai." she tightened her grip on her bag. The girl had smirked at her, buttoning her shirt and snickering. It was no mistake, her make up had been smudged and her hair was in disarray. Amu would try again. Get the truth from him even if she knew. "Tell me the truth."

"What?" he jumped to his feet. "She's just a friend. Same as you and that cat fellow."

"What were you two doing?" Amu lessened her grip. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions after all.

"Fooling around, that's all." He shrugged and his out his arms. "Nothing more than you and Ikuto would do."

"And just what to do you think we do, Kukai?" she held her chin up.

"A little fooling around, I'm sure you guys hold each other when you're cold," he scowled. "You guys probably kiss and make out while I'm not around either. That must be it, you always go over to his place and - "

"Baka!" she shouted back. "I told you we're only friends!"

"Ehh?" he scoffed and grabbed her wrist, the bag dropping. "You say that but you're lying aren't you?"

She gasped and winced. "Kukai, trust me, that's all you can do. Can't you trust me?"

Kukai leered at her, his breath reeking of alcohol. "All I ever hear is 'Ikuto' this and 'Ikuto' that...didn't cha ever think 'bout what I would think? Hmm?"

Amu wriggled under his hard grip. "Let-me-go! Kūkai! This isn't like you at all -"

He forced his lips on her, roughly kissing her and forcing his tongue down her throat. She gasped again and squeezed her eyes shut. Kukai licked his lips, seeing her through his haze of drunkenness. "It isn't like me? Amu, do you even know me well? How well do you think you know me?"

She yanked her wrist from him, rubbing the new red sore. "Kukai, stop it please. You're...you're scaring me."

Kukai growled and pulled her up to him. "How well do you think you know me, huh? HUH?"

Amu's eyes teared up but she scowled shoving away from him and jamming her feet into her shoes, snatching her bag up from the floor where he knocked it from her shoulder earlier.

Kukai, knowing well she was about to leave him, grabbed her other arm and yanked her back. Amu shrieked as he put his hand on the small of her back and held her close. He closed his eyes, inhaling her sweet strawberry scent. Always the strawberry. It usually calmed him...his breaths got heavier and he tried to settle the raging anger and jealousy inside of him.

Amu sensed the pause and slapped him. He let her go with surprise, his eyes jerking open. Amu sniffled but her eyes were filled with hurt and anger. He slowly put a hand up to his stinging cheek as she left without a word and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Ever since then, he hadn't so much as heard a peep from her. He knew he was wrong and attempted to apologize to her but she ignored him, blocking his calls and texts. He accepted that. Ikuto, her dear friend Ikuto, he finally told him she wanted him to stop calling her. He told her she didn't want to see him at all. Kukai ignored that and still kept trying.

"I'm so sorry," I said again to the empty air. Amu was my friend, my lover. And I hurt her. I didn't even know why, I was just angry and jealous. All because of that I hurt her. It was my fault and I wanted her back. I was just being selfish. I know I don't deserve her but I'm just too selfish.


End file.
